It all started last Monday when my English teacher suddenly decided to make us sit for our yearly oral test again. ( We have oral tests 2 times each year ). The first oral test was a failure for reasons I'm too lazy to state but at least I did it in front of the teacher so it wasn't as nerve-wrecking.
This time though, we were supposed to do it in front of the entire class. Cue the "fml" thoughts in my head. The announcement was so sudden that it took a few minutes for it to register in our minds. Once it did, everyone went into panic mode. Our teacher gave us 4 days to prepare for our oral test. We were supposed to give a speech on "random acts of kindness".
Finally, when it was time to sit for our test (Friday), we waited nervously for our teacher to call our names at random. Occasionally someone would volunteer to go up there and save all of our butts by giving their speech thus lowering the chances of others' names being called out. Thanks to them, and the people who were called out, English period soon ended and the rest of us were "safe". Before we left, our teacher told us that we were going to be doing a summary next Monday which was yesterday. And I'm sure you and I both know by now that that didn't happen.
Apparently, she had conveniently forgotten that we were supposed to do our summaries yesterday so she was unprepared. "Never mind though," she said, she was going to make us give our speeches. Upon hearing this, I went frantic because I was SO SURE she wasn't going to make us do it that day. I had it all planned out, we were going to do our summaries yesterday and during her next period which is on Friday, I would skip school since we were supposed to go to Penang so I could avoid giving my speech for as long as possible.
Things don't always go according to plan.
Long story short, after frantically pulling out my speech, almost hyperventilating, listening to a few speeches, I was eventually called out. The funny thing is that when I went out and greeted my teacher, she noticed how nervous I was and kindly told me to stand behind the desk so that I could hold onto it when I felt really nervous. She also advised me to look towards the back of the class so that it would seem like I was making eye contact with people. After that, she signalled me to start.
And when I did, it was a mess. I stuttered, stopped mid-sentence, completely forgotten my lines and I couldn't stop fidgeting my fingers. I laughed awkwardly at times and wished that the ground could open up and swallow me whole right then and there. But it didn't, and I continued. A few minutes and 3 stories later, my teacher told me that I could end my speech. I was thrilled to hear that and I quickly did as told.
All in all, I haven't managed to conquer my stage fright but I did face it. It was a horrifying, nerve-wrecking experience, but necessary nonetheless. It's all part of the growing up process.
Eventually I found out that I'd gotten an "A" for the test, which is great but judging by the way I'd given my speech, I sort of feel like I don't deserve it. Oh well, I guess the saying "we're our own worst critics" is right after all.
Much like in my speech, I'd like to end this post with the same quote by the late princess Diana:
"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."
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