I said I was going to make a post and here it is.
It's been a month since SHINee's Jonghyun left us. The past month has been so surreal.
Like I mentioned in my last blog post, I had a hard time digesting the news of his passing. I kept hoping that it was some kind of stupid joke when I saw the news on my phone. In my mind there was no way someone who seemed so bright and cheerful on the outside could be hurting so much to the point of ending it all.
People keep saying that Jonghyun's depression was obvious since he kept mentioning it but as someone who has stopped following SHINee for a while now and only sees them when they have a comeback on music or variety shows, I had no idea at all that he was depressed. I guess it's my fault for not caring enough to know that behind his playfulness on screen lied a person who was hurting behind the scenes.
The last time I saw him was on Weekly Idol. I remember being so happy to see them dance to Sherlock 2x the speed because that was my favourite song of theirs. Jonghyun was how I'd remember him being when he appeared on the show previously. Everyone was having a blast. So to go from seeing that image of him to seeing news of his death months later was... shocking.
I keep going back to the same points, I'm sorry. I just don't know how to formulate everything into one coherent er, essay.
So instead, I'll do what I always do: write a letter.
Dear Jonghyun,
When I was in High School, there was a point in time where I liked SHINee so much that I would anticipate your appearances on music and variety shows. But being a noob, I thought that you were named "JongKey" at first until my friend told me that it was a combination of yours and Key's name. Silly right?
Then I fell out of love and stopped following you guys that much. I'd see you guys on Weekly Idol from time to time and have a good laugh. Remember when you guys went on SNL Korea and recreated Minho's introductory rap? That was really really funny and nostalgic. This just shows that I never really did cut you guys completely out of my life.
I don't know how I'll feel when I see SHINee on variety shows again in the future and notice that you're not there with them anymore.
I won't ask you why you chose to leave. I just wish that you are happy wherever you are now and that you're not hurting anymore. For someone who was my source of happiness during my tumultuous High School years, even for a brief period of time, I am sorry that I couldn't have been the same for you. Please, be happy, not for anybody's sake but for yours.
We will miss you and remember you in our hearts, Jonghyun.
So please rest well.
You've worked hard.
As much as I envy you for having the courage to leave, I will carry your spirit and keep on moving forward for as long as I live.
Thank you and goodbye.
It's been a month since SHINee's Jonghyun left us. The past month has been so surreal.
Like I mentioned in my last blog post, I had a hard time digesting the news of his passing. I kept hoping that it was some kind of stupid joke when I saw the news on my phone. In my mind there was no way someone who seemed so bright and cheerful on the outside could be hurting so much to the point of ending it all.
People keep saying that Jonghyun's depression was obvious since he kept mentioning it but as someone who has stopped following SHINee for a while now and only sees them when they have a comeback on music or variety shows, I had no idea at all that he was depressed. I guess it's my fault for not caring enough to know that behind his playfulness on screen lied a person who was hurting behind the scenes.
The last time I saw him was on Weekly Idol. I remember being so happy to see them dance to Sherlock 2x the speed because that was my favourite song of theirs. Jonghyun was how I'd remember him being when he appeared on the show previously. Everyone was having a blast. So to go from seeing that image of him to seeing news of his death months later was... shocking.
I keep going back to the same points, I'm sorry. I just don't know how to formulate everything into one coherent er, essay.
So instead, I'll do what I always do: write a letter.
Dear Jonghyun,
When I was in High School, there was a point in time where I liked SHINee so much that I would anticipate your appearances on music and variety shows. But being a noob, I thought that you were named "JongKey" at first until my friend told me that it was a combination of yours and Key's name. Silly right?
Then I fell out of love and stopped following you guys that much. I'd see you guys on Weekly Idol from time to time and have a good laugh. Remember when you guys went on SNL Korea and recreated Minho's introductory rap? That was really really funny and nostalgic. This just shows that I never really did cut you guys completely out of my life.
I don't know how I'll feel when I see SHINee on variety shows again in the future and notice that you're not there with them anymore.
I won't ask you why you chose to leave. I just wish that you are happy wherever you are now and that you're not hurting anymore. For someone who was my source of happiness during my tumultuous High School years, even for a brief period of time, I am sorry that I couldn't have been the same for you. Please, be happy, not for anybody's sake but for yours.
We will miss you and remember you in our hearts, Jonghyun.
So please rest well.
You've worked hard.
As much as I envy you for having the courage to leave, I will carry your spirit and keep on moving forward for as long as I live.
Thank you and goodbye.
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