Alone at the cinema.

Guess what? I went to watch TFIOS last Sunday! ( 3/8/2014 )

Originally I was supposed to watch it with my friends but we had to cancel our plans at the last minute for reasons I would rather not bring up ever again. So, after days of debating, I finally made the decision to go watch it alone.

And it was 95% awesome instead of 100% had it not been for the fact that I kept worrying over how something awful was going to happen to me whilst watching the movie. 

Here's how it went!

The day before I was to watch the movie, my family and I went to book my tickets because I was afraid that they were gonna be sold out the next day. It cost RM14! FOURTEEN. THAT IS SO EXPENSIVE. Tickets usually cost RM6 ( students' price ) on weekdays but since I was going to the cinema on a weekend, it cost more. RM8 more. Pfft.

Moving on, my family and I went back to the shopping mall the next day at 3.30pm and my movie was supposed to start at 3.45pm. After bidding them farewell, I proceeded to hall 7 alone with popcorn in my hands. I walked to my seat which was at the end of the row and sat down. I had chosen to sit there because I didn't like to sit in the middle plus I was alone so that meant that I had no one to wait for once the movie ends so I could just leave the hall asap. And uh.. I also didn't want to sit next to strangers whilst I was alone.

So before the movie started, I noticed that the people who were sitting a seat to my left were a couple. They were being all lovey-dovey and kept "whispering" sweet-nothings to each other which disgusted me as I am an immature teenager who loves to read romance novels but can't stand it when the scenes you find in romance novels are re-enacted in real life. I dunno, it feels awkward to be around couples. I felt like I was invading on their privacy by sitting only a seat from them. 

Then I took out my iPhone and begun to text my friend in order to calm my nerves because at the moment they were spiralling out of control. After a few minutes of texting, the female of the couple suddenly sprang up and sat next to me which triggered me into panic mode. I kept thinking "what the f*ck woman, your seat is over THERE, NEXT TO YOUR BOYFRIEND," and "please go back to your seat, please go back to your seat". Eventually she did go back to her seat, much to my relief and I texted my friend about that unnerving experience.

Movie starts and half a bucket of popcorn later, it reaches its climax. I could feel myself desperately holding in my tears as I wanted to see how far I could go without crying buckets of tears which was kind of stupid now that I think about it. The tears kept threatening to pour out of my eye sockets(?) as I continued to pity the lives of the leads in the movie screen in front of me. I think the time I started to hold my tears was when SPOILER ALERT: gus tells hazel his cancer had relapsed. It was a WTF moment for me because I totally didn't expect that to happen. Like I knew he would eventually.. you-know-what but I didn't know the reason for it.

And I did cry in the end. The first tear slid when Hazel was reciting the eulogy she had written for Gus at his SPOILER ALERT: "pre-funeral". I've forgotten when the second tear slid but it was definitely near the end. That's it. Two, single tears, both from the right eye.

It's not that I'm heartless or anything, believe me when I say I cry at the slightest things but to me, rather than the movie being a "sad" one like everyone makes it out to be, it was a happy one. I found myself smiling a majority of the time instead of crying. I think the reason for me not crying- besides me forcing myself to hold my tears- is that I sort of focused on the happy parts. Sure the ending was abrupt and sad but during that time all I could think about was what a great life Gus had that it made the ending seem less sad than it was. 

Think about it. If the movie hadn't made me smile, if Gus had a terrible life instead of the amazing one he had gotten the privilege of experiencing after surviving his terrible fate for a period of time, I'm pretty sure I would have balled my eyes out at the end. But that's not what happened now isn't it?

In the end, both the movie and the book are about celebrating life. If they were only made for the sole purpose of making their viewers cry then I don't think The Fault In Our Stars would be as successful as it is today.

Getting off topic here, ahaha. So once the movie had finished, I quickly ran out of the cinema and went to find my mum. Problem is that I was quite shaken up at the end due to.. you-know-wha- oh who am I kidding, you've probably already figured it out by now, due to Gus's death and how abrupt it was. Yeah at the time all I could think about was positive stuff but once that phase was over, I was left feeling like a deflated balloon. My smile was gone and all I could think about was the ending and Gus's death of course. I continued to sniffle once I had found my mum but she didn't seem to take notice of it.

And that's it! That is my experience of me watching a movie alone at the cinema. It's been 2 years since I've done this and I must say- as refreshing as it is, I still prefer going to the movies with a companion or 2 just to lessen my anxiety of being alone and also because I like to have people to accompany me on fun activities like this. Yay companions~!

Till next time, bye!

P/s: No, I have yet to read the book yet. I have it in my possession but I wanted to read it after watching the movie so that I wouldn't criticise the movie for leaving out my favourite parts of the book when I watch it.