Luhan.

...where do I begin? 

So yesterday, 10th of October 2014, Luhan filed a lawsuit against SMent and requested for the nullification of his contract. 
I found out about his lawsuit when whilst I was scrolling through instagram, I noticed many people commenting on a D.O fanpage about how D.O "shouldn't let Luhan go" or how he should "stop Luhan from leaving" (the commenters thought that that was D.O's real account so..) And I remember thinking to myself:" Why is everyone still believing in those silly rumours? Our Luhan isn't going anywhere.". Yet, after thinking such thoughts, I started to doubt myself.

So I went on soompi and the page wasn't fully ,loaded yet, but on the top of the page I managed to see a picture of what I presumed was  Luhan's growl era hairstyle (again, the page wasn't fully loaded yet so all I could see was his hair). Surprise surprise, I was right.

To cut things short, I read the article, found out about the lawsuit and his departure and from then on I continued to mutter the word "no" over and over again because I was in self-denial mode. I went on twitter to see people flooding my timeline with tweets about Luhan along with the hashtag #alwayssupportLuhan at the end of (almost) every tweet. Everything was just... overwhelming. It's like what happened with Kris is happening all over again.

I don't want this post to be too long (because I have a lot of thoughts on my mind regarding this issue but putting them into comprehensible sentences... that would be a tough job) so I'll just cut to the chase, to why I decided to write about this in the first place.

A post for Luhan.


Dear our deer, Luhan,

I knew of your existence before I even became a fan of exo as your name kept popping up on twitter, facebook and other social media sites. You were so popular back then and you still are now. However, your popularity wasn't the reason why I made you my bias.
Admittedly, you weren't my first bias in exo, (it was Kyungsoo) but as I slowly got to see more video clips of you and hear more of your angelic voice, I couldn't help but start to like you more and more. 
As I continued to be a fan of you, I realised that another thing that made me like you was how proud you were to be Chinese. As a Chinese myself, I felt really insecure because us Chinese always get looked down upon and treated unfairly, and the fact that I suck at speaking as well as writing in Mandarin kind of worsened my already low self-esteem. But then you came along and showed me that yes we Chinese can be capable of achieving our goals  as well as showed me the beauty of learning Mandarin, even though it is a really really hard language to master. Thanks to you, I feel like all these years of learning Mandarin have finally paid off because of the way you embrace the language and the way you use it to communicate with your fans despite the fact that you are also quite fluent in the Korean language. 
There are an innumerable amount of other things that I like about you, Lu ge but alas, I am unable to express them in words. And it is because of this, how fond I am over you that I am quite unwilling to let you go, yet at the same time I feel like the choice you made was quite appropriate, given the fact that your health is rapidly deteriorating and that you feel like your company has committed a great injustice. 

I wish you the best Luhan, and hopefully I'll be able to hear from you again in the near future. It's a selfish request, I know and I'm sorry but I can't help but make it, you've become a part of my life ever since I started to become a fan of exo. To never be able to hear from you again after getting accustomed to having every single thing you do being spread all over twitter, it's... saddening. At least a picture or two or even a status update would suffice. 

Continue to pursue your dreams Lulu, because us fans will have your back through every step of the way. 

Till you- our bambi, our former vocalist, our Jack Frost- reappear, be it on social media or on the big screen, I bid you a farewell. 


Love ya, Luhaen.
x.